Review: Steel Panther - All You Can Eat

Welcome to my first official review. I'm a dick who hates 90% of everything I hear. If you disagree with a review, be sure to let me know so that I can personally make sure you won't want to contact me again. METAL TIME!

Steel Panther - All You Can Eat

This weeks full review was a no brainer for me. I absolutely love this band. I love everything they have done.

Having said that........this is no different. Once All You Can Eat slaps it's giant 5 inch cock against your face it never stops.

Before you partake in the glory of Steel Panther, there are a few things that you need to understand. First, these guys ARE 80s hair metal. They are not a parody or a tribute. They all came up in or around the 80s hair metal scene. Their humorous lyrical content and sort of "out of place in time" presence in the music scene has led them to be shackled with these titles. This, in my personal opinion, could not be any further from the truth. I will never deny that the titles of "parody" or "tribute" have probably allowed them far more mainstream success, especially with younger listeners, than they would have experienced if people truly believed that they were completely serious, but this is more than likely what we would be listening to if hair metal had never died. This is less a case of a bunch of guys sitting around and saying "Let's start an 80s hair band. Haha! That would be hilarious!" than it is of a bunch of 80s hair metal guys sitting around and saying "Let's write all the shit we probably never would've gotten away with back then, go even further, and then shove it in everyone's faces." Listen to it. Ignore the lyrical content if you can and listen to the song structures, the vocals, the riffs, the drumming. It is perfectly 80s. These fellas are more 80s fucking hair metal than a desperately clinging to spotlight Motley Crue has been in 20 years.

Second, if you were born past, ehhhhh I'll say 1985 or 86, then Steel Panther will never be anything more than ironic parody to you. By the time you were old enough to really get into any music, grunge and alternative had already brutally murdered the hair metal scene. Your parents or older siblings might have listened to it and you might still like it, but it's not a memory. It's an abstract idea based on material that's still available. For those of us that really remember the giant hairsprayed hair, the mascara, the neon spandex, the excessive alcohol consumption, and the women who copied that gloriously alpha male look, Steel Panther is not a parody. It's an over the top throwback with perfect execution from a group of guys that were there. It drags us back to slap bands, popples, and a big fat falsetto YEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

Off topic but on topic (get used to it), I find it hilarious when a 16 year old tells me their favorite band is Nirvana and tries to explain to me why. That's great and all, but don't talk to me about it like you were fucking there. I know all about it. I was there. Nirvana sucked. (All emails should be directed up your own anus until you feel it hit the first curve of your large intestine)

Ha! I still haven't actually talked about the album yet. All You Can Eat is another Steel Panther album. That's it. There's no experimentation here. No stepping outside the box. Just "There was so much love on your face, I couldn't see the tears." If you know Steel Panther and love them, go grab it. If you know Steel Panther and either hate or are indifferent, move on. For those who are unfamiliar with Steel Panther, have ever liked any form of metal, and have an extremely wide sense of humor, then you should definitely check out All You Can Eat.

I'll be jamming this for a while. DEATH TO ALL BUT METAL!

-Kevin @MrBrutal666